How can it be that in the year 2009, men are still asking this question? Why have fathers not told their sons how to do this? Why is dating still such a mystery? Why do men still not know how to ask a woman out on a date?

So, here are a few ideas to get you started – the information your father never told you:

1 – Clean up your act! Don’t even think about asking a girl out if you are anything other than squeaky clean. Your clothes don’t have to be new, but they better be clean and not rumpled. Brush your teeth, check your breath, shine your shoes, and last but not least, take a look at your hands! Nothing is more revolting to a woman than unkempt nails.

2 – You may meet the woman of your dreams at any time of the day – so pay attention to #1 (above) at all times. Even if you are just going to the store to pick up some bread, make sure you look decent. Your future wife may be picking up read, too.

3 – Once you feel you are date-worthy, it’s time to start thinking about asking women out. Do it gracefully, do it tenderly. Going up to a woman and saying, “Will you go out with me,” – well, that’s just creepy. Find out what she likes and try to work that into a date. If she likes movies, tell her about a movie you want to see (that you know she will like) and ask if she wants to join you. By keeping it light and casual, you are more likely to get a “yes”.

4 – Pay attention to what you see. If the woman seems irritated or angry, forget about it – for now. You want to ask her when she is in a receptive mood. Watch her body language, look at her eyes, her smile, and see how she reacts when you approach her. Body language says it all – if she moves away, so should you. If she moves in or touches you, it’s a go!

5 – Plan ahead. And, don’t just plan ahead for a positive response – plan ahead for a negative response. Make sure you are prepared for anything that might happen when you ask her. Rehearse your conversation over and over with variations along the way. Rehearse her part, rehearse your part, and when it comes time to the real conversation, you will feel relaxed.

In short, take it easy, be prepared, and don’t worry about rejection. If she rejects you, it’s her loss, right? Each rejection is more practice for the one who finally does say, “Yes!”

Think of famous people who have had charisma – John Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, George Clooney, Barack Obama – people who could walk into a room and the room would go silent. Charisma is that unmistakeable power to attract people, attract attention, and gain power over others.

Charisma is no accident – it is a result of well-rehearsed, tested behaviors. A person with charisma may appear to be relaxed, nonchalant, and in control, but their every move is often scripted. But we all know the power of charisma, so how do you get some?

The people mentioned above all have many similar personality and conversational characteristics. One of the easiest things they have all done to gain the attention of others is to speak slowly. By speaking slowly, and deliberately, it seems as if every word they say is somehow more thoughtful and important. Compare the slow speech patterns of preachers who command attention to that of fast-talking salesmen who you couldn’t run away from fast enough.

Posture is another part of charisma. Have you ever noticed that people with charisma are taller than most? Actually, they aren’t – they just seem that way. By appearing taller, you will seem more in control and more confident.

Be cool. Nothing says “charisma” like a cool, calm, unruffled man. Think of George Clooney – good looking, well-tailored, happy and calm. He is not easily drawn into a fight and can turn away from harassment. People who bother him are not worth his time and everyone knows it.

No matter how you feel, a smile is always appropriate. The true sign of a person with charisma is that they bring light to a room and that light begins with their smile. Never show that you are agitated and never show too much excitement. A nice level head means that every word out of your mouth, every motion, every glance or smile is somehow more meaningful.

The best way to obtain charisma is to study those who have it. Do your research and find out what it is about them that makes them so attractive. You may find that it is not their looks at all, but a personal style, a confidence, an ability to tell a good tale, an ease with others that makes them so charismatic. Study their style and copy it and you too will become a man with charisma.

Rejection is a terrible word. Rejection is someone else’s evaluation of who you are and your worth. Why would you ever put yourself in a position to be rejected?

The real question is, why would someone else’s opinion of you mean more than your own? Someone may reject you for many reasons, but few (if any) of them are because of who you are. A woman may reject you for being poor, which means she was not that interested in you in the first place. A woman may reject you because of your height, your color, your hair (or lack of), your job, or your car. Does that make you a bad person? No, actually it makes her a bad person.

A woman may reject you because it is her who is scared of intimacy. Maybe you remind her too much of an ex-boyfriend, or maybe she is actually secretly in love with someone else. Who knows why, but it’s not because of you.

So if why are you scared of rejection? Remember the old schoolyard verse, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Even as a child you knew to ignore the rejection of others and you need to keep that in mind when dealing with women as an adult.

For every woman who rejects you, there is another one out there who will be rejected by you someday. Who knows, you may have rejected someone today and didn’t even know it. The point is, don’t take rejection personally. Rejection is simply someone else’s evaluation of you and what they think you are.

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” – Sydney Smith. In other words, you will regret not asking her out, not making an attempt, not trying. That regret will last much longer than the rejection ever will.

Like most men, your confidence level probably drops in a direct correlation with the beauty of the women you are in front of. The more awesome she is, the less awesome you feel. But not only do you feel bad, women sense lack of confidence and will avoid you like the plague.

So, how do you attain a more confident demeanor in front of women? You can’t do much about your looks or your pocketbook, and unless you win the lottery, you won’t be driving a nicer car anytime soon. What can you do take overcome your shortfalls?

A much overused statement in 12 Step Programs goes like this: “Fake it till you make it.” The best way to appear more confident is to feel more confident, even if you are faking it. It is not that you are pretending to be something you aren’t, simply that you are enhancing your confidence level just a little bit. By pretending to be confident, even a few minutes at a time, your unconscious will soon adopt those feelings as reality.

Another way to appear more confident is to sharpen up your act a little. Who doesn’t walk out of a barber with a little more bounce in their step? And, who doesn’t feel better when wearing new clothes (even if they were bought at the discount store)? By feeling better about yourself, you will appear more confident.

Many people claim that affirmations are the secret to self-confidence. Tell yourself, repeatedly, that you are confident. “I am a confident guy!” Repeat this every day, every night, in the bathroom, at the gym, and you will soon become what you tell yourself you are.

In addition to affirmations, visualizations help everyone from politicians to athletes achieve their goals. In fact, during the Olympics, Michael Phelps visualized every second of his races, from beginning to end, every night before he went to bed. By visualizing them successfully ahead of time, he felt his nerves would be reduced and he would be half-way to success by the time he stood on the blocks.

You can’t buy confidence in a store or learn it from a book. You need to feel it inside you before others will see it. Begin by telling yourself you are confident, seeing yourself as confident, and doing little things that make you feel good – these can raise your confidence level immensely.

How can I put in just one article what a woman looks for in a man? Some women look for George Clooney good looks, some want the money of Bill Gates, and some want it all rolled up into a David Beckham body.

But besides a pretty face, a hot bod, and a wad of cash, what else do they really look for? Do you even possess any of these things?

Well, of course you do. Remember, no woman wants a man who is prettier than her, so you can forget about George Clooney. No woman wants a man whose body is better than hers either, so goodbye David Beckham. And money, well, a few extra bucks ain’t bad.

The things a woman really looks for in a man are the intangibles. Here are just a few to get you started:

1 – Volunteer. A woman likes men who like to help others. If she knows you visit your grandmother once a week or are a volunteer little league coach, she’ll think highly of you.

2 – Think. If you read, tell her about the books you like. If you enjoy movies or television (not sitcoms!), tell her about it. Mention something you read in the newspaper that morning. Quote a famous author.

3 – Play it cool. You absolutely HAVE to ignore any good-looking women around you. Act as if you don’t even see them. One glance in the wrong direction and you are busted.

4 – Clean up your act. Men and women have different levels of hygiene. Women like men to be clean, and yes, that includes your clothes and your shoes, too. Oh, and your car. A car full of discarded fast food boxes is read as a sign of disrespect by most women.

5 – Surround yourself with idiots. Nothing stands out more in a crowd than the one sane one. If you have several (unattractive) friends, you will stand out as the good catch in the bunch. Remember, everything is relative, and the more unattractive and unseemly your buddies, the better you look!

The one thing a woman looks for, though, is attention. Pay attention to her and what she says, what she likes, and remember these tidbits. By making her the focus, not only do you take the attention off of you, but you also make her feel important.

I once read a story about Colonel Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). He travelled the country in a beat-up car, peddling his ridiculous fried chicken recipe for years. He knocked on door after door and was turned down. Eventually, after years of trying, someone bought his recipe and the rest is history. So the question is, was Col. Sanders “lucky”? I don’t think so. He simply worked hard.

If you search online for famous quotes about luck, you will find dozens of them that equate luck with hard work. “It’s hard to detect good luck – it looks so much like something you’ve earned.” – Frank Clark. ” “The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.” – Harry Golden. “Luck is the by-product of busting your fanny.” – Don Sutton.

So, why DO some men have all the luck? Maybe they don’t. Maybe they just try harder than you do. Maybe they are like Col. Sanders and peddle their recipe from town to town until they find someone who buys it.

The point is, some men are “lucky” but that “luck” is often because they worked hard. If you shoot enough arrows, you are bound to hit the target eventually. And, that is the motto of many men who have found the women of their dreams.

These men have never been afraid of going up to a woman and talking to her. If they shut him down, he moves on to the next one. Just like interviews, the more you do the better you get. So these men get better and better at meeting women and talking to them until the right one comes around who wants to by his recipe.

Make it a personal challenge to get out there and meet as many women as you can. Refine your “pick up lines”, and learn to brush off failure. This will help you out in your personal life as well as your business life. Learning to become a Col. Sanders who has faith, confidence, and diligence in spite of repeated failure, is a means to success.

As Samuel Goldwyn once said, “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” Perhaps with a little more work out there, you too will be lucky!

Women may seem like a mystery, but in some ways you can actually read them like a book. Body language is a complex set of non-verbal signals that each of us gives out every second of the day. Take a look around you. While sitting on a bus, you will see a variety of body language cues: people taking up a lot of space to dissuade physical contact with others, people avoiding each others’ glances, angry people, sad people, and affectionate couples. Each of these people are giving body language cues to everyone around them.

A woman’s body language is easy to read. The first thing to pay attention to is her “personal space”. Personal space is different in every culture, and certainly between men and women. Some women need a lot of space at the beginning of a relationship, less space later. Some women may be all over you in the beginning, and a distance from you later. You need to evaluate her relationships with others (does she hug her friends, her family?), and how close she comes to you. Follow her lead.

In the language of the body, there are generally two forms: open or shut. Someone who is “open” is welcoming contact or closeness. Their arms are uncrossed, they are leaning toward you, they may touch you to make a point.

Someone who is “closed” is obviously not in the mood for contact. She may have crossed arms, leaning away from you, unwilling to make eye contact, and in many cases will actually move away from you if you move in too close.

Body language is also expressed in the face. A smile is the ultimate symbol of welcoming. If you see a smile, make sure the rest of her body language falls into line. If not, that smile may not be sincere.

However, more important than the body or the face, the hands are the true signal of feelings. A woman who initiates contact, even a light tap on the hand, is in the mood to get to know you. A lingering handshake, or a touch on your lower back or bicep are both considered intimate and good signs. If a woman touches your face or hair, you have won the lottery.

Pay attention to these signs, and you will easily see which women are welcoming you and which aren’t. If the signs you read aren’t good, move along and find someone who is ready to communicate.

Who can blame men for wanting sex?  Honestly now, men are only
following their biological instincts and ensuring that future
generations of men continue to exist on the earth.  Women can’t
blame men for being horny and wanting sex most of the time.  Women
cannot impose restrictions on a man’s sexuality.  This makes some
feminists and Puritan mothers very angry.  And all they can do to
defend themselves against this onslaught of sex and section is to
say “no.”

Now you, as a man, are probably going mad trying to figure out how
to make a woman say yes yes yes!   There is truly an art to
romance and the secrets to seducing women are not by any means
concretely scientific.  They are techniques that have worked on
some women, yet failed on others.  There are also many schools of
thought on how to improve your sex life and get more action than
you can handle.  Some experts claim that it’s just a matter of
being “cocky and funny”, while others argue that maturity and
intelligence is the best way to succeed.  The truth lies somewhere
in between.  Before sex becomes an option, you must “learn” the
women that you desire.

You must discover who she is, what turns her on and what you have
to become to be her perfect, irresistible man.  Is it true that
all women are turned on by immaturity or even psychological abuse?
Obviously not, although that is often times the case when dealing
with immature girls with self-esteem issues.  Dr. Laura once
advised men to “treat a woman like a woman and a tramp like a
tramp.”  This well illustrates the concept that different women
will require different seductive behavior.  It’s up to you to
learn the secret code.

The “secrets” to seduction that you read about online are actually
quite vague.  Most of them focus on four important rules of
relationship behavior.  The first is the most important and is
scientifically accurate.  A man cannot be ashamed of his desires
and must not be afraid of sexual intimacy, if that’s what he
wants.  Men who are too embarrassed or fearful to be forward about
flirting, or dating will always be perceived as a friend and not a
lover.  Sexual pheromones must be activated before sex can happen,
and that involves talking about sex, thinking about it and
enjoying every sensation involved in it.  The other rules seem to
embrace a dominant male lifestyle, such as taking on a more
masculine and confident role, and relegating women’s desires to
second place.  You may have heard the philosophy of “professional
womanizer” Ross Jeffries, who taught that a successful male “lives
without apology, doesn’t need women to be happy and cannot be
controlled.”

These attitudes can be attractive to women and all human beings in
general, though they are often over-simplified and misinterpreted.
These are attitudes that convey stronger masculinity; they are
not necessarily related to serious romance or even the art of
seduction.  The art of sexual seduction involves more subtlety
than that and may involve physical mirroring, hypnosis and various
stages of mind manipulation.

Some seduction schools teach that men should lie to women and lead
them on just to hop into bed.  This is a dangerous attitude and
one that inevitably leads to heartbreak or even worse
consequences.  You are better off if you are upfront about what
you want.  Honesty brings respect, even if you are being honest
about wanting to get laid.  In the end, it saves everybody time
and gets you in bed much sooner than later.  Just remember to
balance your sexual demon with a friendly smile and witty
conversation.  Have fun, Mr. Bond.